I have decided to use this blog space to comment on interactions that I witness, and open up discussions about them.    I’m calling this series:   Fran’s Rantings about Communication.

Here’s my first edition. . .

The Doctor’s Office:

Lately, my partner and I have been on a fitness kick.   We have decided to firm up and trim down.   In doing so, we decided it would be a great idea to have some blood tests done to see what our general health is like and know that we are safe in the choices we are making.   Off we went to the doctor.   We had the blood tests and then made an appointment to see the doctor to get our results.   When we arrived, our usual doctor wasn’t available so we were happy to have the results given by any available doctor.  How hard can it be to tell us about our cholesterol, blood sugars, triglicerides etc?

The doctor began to interpret the results for us.   As he went along, he mentioned details about our results and then often asked a question.   Here’s an example of his comments:

DOC:  “You know that you are overweight don’t you?   In fact, you are right on the boarder of the obese scale?”

Fran:  “Yes”, I said.   “That’s why we are here, to take charge of that situation and bring it all into control again.   We have started”. . . (he interrupts here)

DOC:  “We’ll, what are you doing about it?”

Fran:  “We have just stared an exercise program with a personal trainer.   We see him 3 times per week, and the other days we do other types of exercise (walks, jogging, gym, yoga).”

DOC:  “Hmpf  That won’t work for you.  You’re better off just walking fast – and it’s not the only thing you need to do.   Diet is the most important part.   You will have to change what you eat.   I’m sure your diet could use a lot of change.   What do you eat?   Fast foods all the time?”

Fran:  (feeling annoyed and attacked)  “No, we have a fairly good diet.   We eat a lot of fruits and vegetables, mostly fish for the meat.   Our biggest issue is portion control.  We just eat too much of it.   We are also thinking of going vegetarian for a while to experiment with that.  We also take lots of vitamins, drink lots of water, and steer clear of sugar.”

Doc:  (snickering)  “Vegetarian and vitamins – what a ridiculous waste.   Just balance your diet.  Stop thinking about all those other things  and just have a balanced diet.   This is what’s got you into this mess in the first place.”

Okay – that is just one string of conversation that exemplifies the entire interaction.  While I’m not at all unhappy that the doctor and I didn’t see eye to eye on what’s a good dietary choice or a good exercise regime, I was unhappy at his choice of communication style.

Result:  My partner and I both walked out of the interaction feeling put down.   He had talked down to us.  If we weren’t mentally strong enough to combat those feelings, we could have easily given up.  After all, we were just told that everything we were doing wasn’t working, and wasn’t going to work.  Only HE was right.  (We had lots of evidence to the contrary – we had already lost over 15 kilos each and were feeling great).

What could have been done better?

Please know that I am not passing judgement on the advice the doctor was giving.  I am passing judgement on his communication.    He could have complimented us on acknowledging that we needed to change.

He could have said:  “Wow, I’m glad you’re doing exercise and focusing on your diet.   I have some ideas about the specifics that I’d like to talk to you about – and I want to invite you to come back to me if you find that your current plan isn’t working well.   Here are the things that I would recommend that are different to what you are doing now.  (insert details…..)”

Had he taken this type of approach, we would have listened openly and been willing to consider his suggestions.   His condescending and combative approach did nothing but get him crossed off our list of people we trust for advice.

Professionals have a special responsibility to tell the truth about a situation, but also to communicate that truth effectively.   I’m not saying that scare tactics and other such methods are not useful and sometimes necessary.   The key is to know the audience – and try different approaches.  Why not focus on having clients walk away feeling motivated to continue doing the right things, and want to come back?

In our previous post on the importance of communication, we talked about why we believe developing communication skills in your organisation is not only important, but crucial.

Here are our top 10 tips for implementing a communication skill development program in your organisation:

1. Make organisational communication some one’s responsibility! If someone has a Key Performance Indicator (KPI) linked to improving communication then it will receive the attention it demands.
2. Find the people in your organisation who are passionate about communication and give them a role to play.
3. The majority of communication occurs out of habit and changing habits requires sustained pressure over time before it will deliver a return on investment. Avoid quick fix solutions  that become ‘fad’ training and implement solutions that will permanently change the communication DNA of your organisation (often referred to as ‘the way we do things here’.)
4. The words we say and write start first with our thoughts and internal dialogue (self talk)  – communication skills development needs to include this level of internal communication as a starting point. This also includes developing emotional intelligence and providing employees with techniques for managing attitude.
5. The importance of communication needs to be recognised and supported at an executive level.
6. Developing communication skills is a specialised area – if you don’t have the internal skills then bring in external help from experts who do.
7. Create a communication plan that addresses and aligns communication in all areas of the business – consistency of communication from all business areas is essential for building trust internally and with customers.
8. Look for ways to measure communication in your organisation such as  internal surveys, processes for reporting and improving communication that is failing, external benchmarking for customer communication.
9. Walk the talk – leaders must lead in action before others will follow. Include executives and senior managers in communication skills development.
10. Don’t stop – communication skills development is all about continuous improvement and constantly adapting to the ever changing working environment.
11. Bonus Tip – What you don’t communicate can often speak louder than any words. Ensure your communication strategy looks at what is not being communicated as much as what is being communicated.

• One of the amazing and irrefutable laws of human nature is that we must communicate to survive.
  It is in our programming to do so.
• Due to the emotional nature of the human creature, all interpretations and perceptions about
  communication pass through emotional filters. These interpretations are often incorrect, leading
  to upset, disenchantment, cynicism and apathy.
• For the average adult in the a working environment, up to 75% of the time they are at work is spent
  in the process of communication with someone in some way, through verbal communication
  with co-workers and customers, written communication via e-mail, inter-office memos, updating information on systems, letters to customers and so on.
• One of the major complaints of employees, when speaking about job satisfaction is: “The
  management doesn’t ever listen to us. They don’t understand what it’s really like for us to do
  this job. If they did, they’d change things immediately so that we would want to do our best for
  the company.”
  The number 1 complaint of customers, when speaking about service and sales functions of
  organisations is: “They never listen. They don’t understand my needs or my concerns much less
  what it would take to keep me coming back.”
• When communicating verbally, 90% of all communication is done “unconsciously”. That is to
  say, there is little thought to the content or the context of what comes out of a person’s mouth
  at any given time. When asked to repeat exactly what was said in a previous sentence, most
  people are unable to do so.
• The higher level the position, the more critical the need for exceptional communication
  skills.

Communication is the lifeblood of every organisation. In today’s corporate environment,
executives are expecting employees to serve better and sell more in less time. “Please speak to
my customers, impress their socks off, sell them lots of things, create a feeling of loyalty and
make certain that they become return customers ~ and do so in 3 minutes or less.”

Here’s the good news…

• Another irrefutable law of human nature is that people WANT to be truly
  committed, productive and loyal. We all want to feel needed,
  perform well and provide a service that is worthwhile. This, too is
  an integral part of human programming.
• Humans can be taught to communicate brilliantly.
• If organisations can get their internal communication and communication
  with customers right, most other corporate ailments will vanish.

Ask yourself the following difficult questions:

• How many times have you communicated something to someone with a
  specific intention in mind, only to have it interpreted as something
  completely different ~ and the result was an upset or a failed goal?
• How often do you ask for “honest” feedback from people and later
  discover that the feedback you got was not the truth at all?
• Have you ever sent or been sent an e-mail that you or someone else
  interpreted as inflammatory?
• How certain are you that the messages you want your customers to get
  are they ones they are really getting?
• Do most people in your organisation truly live the corporate vision and
  mission ~ or do they casually roll their eyes and regard the information
  as platitude?
• Are you aware of the nature of the “grapevine” or “elevator”
  communication in your organisation? Is it generally positive or negative?

Communication is truly vital to every organisation. Most organisations believe they are doing it well ~ the reality…not so! The majority of corporate ailments can be boiled down to communication issues in their base-most forms.

Most organisations make the mistake of making cutbacks to the training departments when they fall on hard times or are in financial crisis. In other cases, organisations will blindly throw good money after bad into training programs that contain solid and relevant information, but are rendered useless without the necessary communication skills and understanding of human behaviour.

So how do you go about improving communication skills in your organisation?

In our next post on this topic we will provide our Top 10 Tips for Developing Communication

Any thoughts on this topic? We would love to hear from you.